Yesterday I had the opportunity to observe a rather comical game of “Guess Who?”
My 7-year-old was trying to play with my 2-year-old. My 7-year-old son actually did a good job of teaching as they played, but his sister…well, she’s still only 2. My daughter happily sat across from the table, interacting, answering questions, asking questions, and even putting players down.
If you were not paying close attention, you would have thought she knew what she was doing. My son asked her, “Is yours a boy?”
And she said, “Yes.” But in reality, her person was a girl. So now my son was playing the game with all the wrong player up to choose from. Eventually he realized what happened, and said she cheated.
Well… yes… she told you the wrong information, but in reality… she probably didn’t actually understand the question, how to answer it, or even how to play… She really needed someone next to her helping her… but she’s two… she can do it on her own… well at least she thinks so.
I bet you can probably relate to a similar scenario. Maybe you were thrown into a role, job, or task you wanted to do but really had no idea how to do it. So, you just did the best, took instruction even though you didn’t really understand what that meant.
I know I can relate.
I have felt like this during every new season of my life. Marriage… I had no idea how to be a godly wife. Motherhood… I had no idea how to be a good mom. Homemaker… I had no idea how to keep a home, cook, or clean.
To be honest, I grew up hearing this message, “You can be anything you want to be.”
I knew what I wanted to be, I wanted to be a mom. But people would tell me I could be so much more. Well-meaning people would tell me I could be the president one day if I wanted to. I got this subtle message that being a mom wasn’t important. Your career was more important.
For whatever reason, being a wife, mom, and homemaker were completely under-valued jobs that you didn’t need training for. So I paid very little attention to anything that had to do with fulfilling those roles.
To be a teacher, I needed to go through four years of college. To be a doctor, you need much more schooling. Heck, just about any job requires some schooling or training. Yet, to be a mom, you need to have a kid. Zero qualification. Zero training. But perhaps, the biggest thing you will ever do with your life.
I’ve heard people say that schools need to have “Life Skills Class” which includes cooking, cleaning, budgeting, and the like. That class would have greatly benefited me when I became an independent adult as I didn’t know how to do any of that.
However, today as I hear people begging for these classes, I wonder- why don’t you just teach your kids these skills yourself?
Model it. Teach it. Live it. Have your kids do it alongside of you.
Remember that your attitude towards it matters. Treat these skills like they are important, necessary, and helpful. Make sure your kids know that you want them to do it too.
Yes, they will never hold a class called, “How to be a Godly Wife,” but that doesn’t mean you cannot teach that to your daughters. It starts when they are little. Model it. When they get older, teach them to happily serve along-side of you. Advice: Don’t treat cooking and cleaning as chores or your children will also see them as such. Chores imply you have to do it, serving shows you get to do it for your family. As they get older, share with them the blessings of the role they have. Teach them to pray. Teach them to go to the Lord in prayer before throwing around harsh words. Teach them to resolve conflicts peacefully. Teach them to put effort into their relationships. Teach them that marriage matters. Teach them that marriage takes three, and that a healthy marriage is a good thing to desire.
There also will never be a class called, “How to be a Godly Mom.” But once again we can model that. We can let our daughters see how much we rely on God. We can pray. We can serve. And when we mess up, we will ask for forgiveness. We can model love and show that our job is to teach them. Teach them to be independent. Teach them to fly. Show unconditional love. Show stability. Show Safety. Give them room to grow while nourishing their needs.
The big roles in life often appear undervalued in our culture, but that does not mean they are invaluable, especially in God’s eyes. “Children are a heritage from the Lord… Blessed is the man whose quiver is full.” Seriously, there is no greater joy than to see your children walking with the Lord.
Our primary job as parents is to lead our children to a relationship with their Savior! Keep that in the forefront of your mind. We have no idea where this life will lead our children, but we do know one day they will die and meet our Heavenly Father. I want that meeting to be joyous reunion where they hear, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” So, I will do my best to point my kids to God in every situation possible.
Some of you have godly women walking alongside of you pointing you towards Christ in every situation- Praise God for that! Some of you do not. But regardless of the situation, God is on your side. God will lead you, guide you, convict you when your wrong, and walk alongside of you every step of the way if you will let Him. You just have to trust Him with your kids.
As much as you love your kid, God loves them more! Weird thought… I know. But our love is flawed. Our love tends to be selfish. God’s love is never-ending, always and forever.
Some of you may have been thrown into the roles of wife, mother, and homemaker completely unequipped. But let’s not let that cycle continue. Let’s teach them the value of their role. The joy that comes from fulfilling them. And do all things to the glory of God!