Sometimes my toddler is the cutest. A few days ago, he suckered me into playing Hide and Seek, or Peek-a-Boo, or sometime like that. Basically, he covered his head with his blankie, and I said, “Oh, where is Isaiah?” He giggled the most adorable laugh, and then ripped off the blanket. “Oh there he is!” Then of course we got to repeat this… about 100 times.
He was hiding… kinda… well, he thought he was hiding. But it was ridiculously obvious to everyone where he was at.
When my four-year-old tried to do the same thing… it wasn’t quite so cute…
Hiding where everyone can see… she should know better… right?
So why do I do it too…
This morning, I sat down for my morning time with God, and I was just honest,
God, I don’t doubt you, but I truly doubt what you are calling me to. Why me? How? Will people even care? Will they even listen? Are you sure? I really don’t think I am cut out for this assignment…
Then I opened my Bible to the next Psalm, and it read like a song of my heart.
Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
13For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
You could say I woke up this morning trying to hide behind doubt and excuses, but good news: He knows me! He created me! How precious is He to me! Before a thought was in my mind, He knew it through and through.
I think He knew I would wake up doubting myself and my purpose. Which is why this was my reading this morning. I can try to hide from God or make excuses to cover me, but He knows me through and through.
Who am I to tell the Potter no? Who am I to doubt the purpose of His creation?
I am the created. He is the Creator.
He has a plan and I GET to be part of it.
Thank you, God, for allowing me to be part of your mighty plan. Mold me. Use me. Guide me.
And thank you for gently reminding me who I am when I doubt. I am yours!