I was making my kids peanut butter sandwiches while the girls played at the table on Friday. I was taking my time, since I knew the boys still needed to wrap up their schoolwork. I had six pieces of bread laid out with a peanut butter spread over them… and out of nowhere but daughter says, “Mom, can I take mine?” and begins to take a slice of bread.
I swatted her hand out of the way and told her she has to wait. I still needed to put the honey and other piece of bread on it. I still needed to get out the pretzels and apples. I still needed them to clean up the table. And I needed to boys to finish up their schoolwork.
The nerve of that girl. Wanting to take her half-finished sandwich well before the table was set and lunch was prepared.
Well… she comes by it honestly. I’ve reached for the sandwich long I should have. In fact, I’ve told God how I wanted my sandwich, but thank God, He didn’t listen. He gave me even more than I could have ever dreamed.
Let’s just say the many, many blessings I have today were not even prayers I had five years ago.
I knew how I wanted my life. I wanted to be a working mom of a small happy family. God had other plans.
It was quite literally like he pushed my hand away from the counter and said, “Your plans may be great, but mine are even greater!”
Last week, I was filling out an application to Seminary. As I wrote the essay, I introduced myself. The funny thing is, five years ago, that introduction would have looked very different. Five years ago, I never would have dreamed of entering Seminary. I never would have actually thought I’d be a pastor’s wife… mom of six… homeschooling them, too… blogging… author… legitimately any of it… not even one of those things was even on my list of wants.
But how many times did I try to get things just the way I wanted them? How many times did I cry out in frustration to God, when all along he was one writing my story? He knew what details needed to line up. He knew what I needed and when I needed it.
I am so glad I didn’t settle for the life I thought I wanted. Now, I can see that I’m being blessed with the life He intended for me.
I bet several characters… ok, most characters in the Bible can relate. Do you think David, the youngest of eight boys and working as a shepherd, ever thought he could be king? Do you think Mary, a poor, unmarried girl ever saw herself as the mother of Jesus? Ok- Paul. An educated, driven Pharisee… Do you ever think he thought… for one second, that he would boldly proclaim and risk his life to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ?
It’s a really good thing, their plans were not the plans God had. Or history as we know it, would be vastly different.
We may have good plans, but God has divine plans. Embrace those plans!
There’s nothing special about those Bible characters. They were all ordinary people making the most out of their lives. But God! God chose them. They weren’t chosen because they were holy, they were holy because they were chosen.
The same goes for me. Though, I often question that whole holy thing. Not sure why He chose me, but I’m sure glad He did. I’m just a girl who hit rock bottom, found the Light I had been searching for my entire life, and started submitting to Him. I realize now, He has been there the whole time, but I was too self involved to know that. I’m learning to submit and trust God in all areas. It hasn’t been easy. It’s hard. It’s hard to trust when you can’t see results. It’s hard to believe that this is for the best, when all you can see are your own tears. But He knows best. Trust Him!
*
He has chosen you too! You are the person he designed you to be. Perfectly and wonderfully made with a purpose! Let him be the potter. You be the clay.
He’s not just preparing a peanut butter and honey sandwiches for lunch. He’s preparing a place for you in eternity with Him forever!
Get your hands out of the way and let God make the way!
* As I was revising this, I couldn’t help but start signing the Casting Crowns’ song “Nobody.” So, I found it fitting to add the lyrics to the end of this post. (Go listen to the song. I hope it speaks to you!)
Why You ever chose me
Has always been a mystery
All my life I’ve been told I belong at the end of the line
With all the other Not-Quites
With all the Never-Get-It-Rights
But it turns out they’re the ones You’ve been looking for all this time
‘Cause I’m just a nobody
Trying to tell everybody
All about Somebody who saved my soul
Ever since You rescued me
You gave my heart a song to sing
I’m living for the world to see
Nobody but Jesus
I’m living for the world to see
Nobody but Jesus
Moses had stage fright
And David brought a rock to a sword fight
You picked 12 outsiders nobody would’ve chosen
And You changed the world
Well, the moral of the story is
Everybody’s got a purpose
So when I hear that devil start talking to me, saying
“Who do you think you are”
I say…
I’m just a nobody
Trying to tell everybody
All about Somebody who saved my soul
Ever since You rescued me
You gave my heart a song to sing
I’m living for the world to see
Nobody but Jesus
I’m living for the world to see
Nobody but Jesus